2015 Tedium Highlight by Ernie Smith: Actors, musicians, and companies sometimes make creative decisions for the worst possible reason: Because they legally have to. The result is usually awful. 

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Ernie Smith’s 2015 Highlights

December 2015

Let's Drop the Ball Again

The state of our tedium in 2016 is pretty freaking weird, and as it turns out, we're not producing most of the tedious stuff.

Frozen Karma's Gonna Get You

The Klondike bar's catchy slogan isn't just marketing talk. The ice cream novelty was subject to a legal saga that nearly went to the Supreme Court.

Stocking Stinkers: A Tedium Gift Guide

For the people at the end of your gift list, here's a gift guide with recommendations for things that you may not have considered. For good reason.

The Shell Game

If you're looking to start a shell company and don't want anyone to know, it's really easy. Hey, Sheldon Adelson did it.

Lithium's on Fire

Could lithium become the new gold, or even the new oil? The increasing need for rechargeable lithium-ion batteries may change the world's mineral appetite.

Trippin' On A Hole In A Paper Heart

If Stone Temple Pilots were to continue on in the wake of Scott Weiland's death, it wouldn't be an unheard-of phenomenon. Just ask The Doors and Sublime.

What's Your Gimmick?

The numerous ways, throughout television history, that networks have tried to convince us to keep watching. Often, they're big failures.

Cruis'n USA

From the road that is literally a straight line to the tiny town with its own freeway, here's the weirdest stuff about interstate highways we could find.
November 2015

Everything Must Go

When a retailer fails—whether at a single location or company-wide—their first instinct is often to discount the crap nobody wanted to buy. Here's why.

Enuf is Enough

Words and grammar don't just show up in the dictionary or style guide by accident. Quite often, they're lobbied for—sometimes by super-rich people.

Throw Away Your Rake

The National Wildlife Federation says you should give the leaf blower a rest this fall. Your constantly-annoyed neighbors think you should, too.

Take a look at me. Now.

Phil Collins doesn't deserve the scathing criticism he receives—he's one of the most creative minds in rock history, and he's an amazing drummer. Really.

Contractually Obligated to Suck

Actors, musicians, and companies sometimes make creative decisions for the worst possible reason: Because they legally have to. The result is usually awful.
October 2015

Identifying a Real Fake

Trying to pull a fast one on the cashier? Good luck with that. Fake IDs look closer to the real thing than ever, but (news flash) they're still fake.

The Neighbors You Love to Hate

The rise of homeowners associations is sort of like a microcosm of pettiness and slights, except way dumber.

Generic Internet Article

Private labels are a common strategy retailers use to keep profits in house, but fortunately for everyone, house brands are a lot less boring these days.

An Escalating Danger

Mitch Hedberg's famous joke about escalators turning into stairs when they break isn't as funny as it sounds. Why? Because escalators are dangerous.

I'll Have Water, Please

Americans expect a glass of water by default with their sit-down restaurant meal. Why is it such a big deal, and how much water are we wasting, anyway?

Plug It In, Plug It In

Want to charge your phone in a new country? Better bring an adapter with you. Why are power outlets so frustrating? Blame bad decisions made decades ago.
September 2015

A Game Boy For Math

Educators had a love-hate relationship with graphing calculators when they launched, but students loved them because they were great for games.

Swiss Army Life

Don't let the neutral status of Switzerland fool you: The Swiss know a thing or two about knives, and the Swiss Army Knife is the height of great design.

Bottles and Cans and Just Clap Your Hands

About ten states have bottle deposit laws—measures designed to get you to bring your bottles back for recycling. Why aren't they more common?

Let's Get Profane

Swearing is often seen as a societal taboo that defines class or social level. Let's be honest, though: Profanity has more bark than bite.

Genuine Imitation Leather

It looks like the real thing, but pleather is fake and plastic. Whether or not that bothers you is based on your opinion of leather, probably.

Format War Footnotes

Laserdisc, anyone? How about HitClips? And what's the deal with slotMusic? All these media formats were made for some reason. We're not sure why.

The Stupidity of Making the Bed

Making your bed every morning is the most dumb, useless waste of five minutes ever created. You should stop right now because you're wasting your time.
August 2015

Deep Dish

For a short period in the early 1980s, giant satellite dishes ruled the land. It was a rare moment when big telecom wasn't in control. That quickly changed.

Live and Let Dye

These days, artificial food coloring is seen as a major health risk—admittedly, for good reason in some cases. But, shockingly, things used to be way worse.

Tape Deck Heart

Vinyl records are getting all the buzz these days, but what about magnetic tapes? They're just as quirky—whether we're talking VCR or reel-to-reel.

This'll Blow You Away

The hand dryer, after a long period of stagnation, has become a hotbed of innovation in recent years. Who knew sanitation could be so forward-thinking?

How The Fake Sausage Is Made

Veggie burgers and similar products are downright common these days, but it took a long time for meat analogues to earn respect at the table.

A Phone Book For Computers

Before we used the internet to find computer parts, we used Computer Shopper, a magazine that commonly had over 800 pages in a single issue. Really.

A Tale of Creative Destruction

In the early '90s, a UK acid house duo called The KLF briefly became the country's biggest act. Then, they threw it all away and burned the money for art.

Fake Metal Trees

Despite the obvious advantages of cell towers for communication, they're a common source of tension for local communities. Here's why.
July 2015

My Hands Are Burning

If you're going to cut jalapenos, wear gloves. I didn't, and I had a pretty rough night. Here's my story.

I Want to Live Like Common People

Why rich people really love to pretend to be poor every once in a while, just like in Pulp's "Common People."

We're Going Viral

The computer virus has been around for more than 40 years now, and it's caused lots of panic (and occasionally some damage) over the years. But don't freak.

I Got The Munchies

When the bar closes or the house party is broken up by the cops, college food suddenly seems like the best thing ever. Check out these dorm-room favorites.

Big in Brazil

The Sega Master System was an also-ran in the United States, but in Brazil, it's still on the market—and still moving units. Here's how it happened.

Outside-the-Bottle Thinking

Dr. Bronner's recently redesigned their famously dense label. Here's how it came to be, and where modern bottle design stands.

Bad Education

Growing up as a child actor is a pretty tough life. Not even your education is guaranteed to be good.

Burn After Reading

Controversial literature that lives at the very edge of the First Amendment plays an important societal role: It tests exactly what we can say.
June 2015

The Game Genie Generation

For manchildren of a certain age, the Game Genie opened up a new world of opportunity for boring games—and had a profound effect on copyright law.

A Cromulent Exercise

Popular culture and life experiences have a crazy way of influencing the way that we talk and use words. Perfectly cromulent, if you ask us.

A Machine That Gives You Stuff

Vending machines have a long, storied history that dates back to … whaddya mean I can't get my candy bar out of this stupid thing?!

Your Money Is Worthless Here

From coupons to Zimbabwean dollars, sometimes currency turns out to be worth a lot less than it initially seems.

When Pyramids Collapse

Pyramid schemes, ponzi schemes, and other types of scams have taken in many suckers over the years. Are you one of those suckers?

Get Off My Lawn

Lawn mowers are a relatively new phenomenon that made grass-cutting something the average person could do. Before that, it was a game for the elites.

The First 12 Cost A Penny, But …

In the 1980s and 1990s, Columbia House could do no wrong—as a way to get music, the mail-order service was cheap and easy at first. Then, the bills came.

Give Us Some Credit

Credit cards were our first gateway to a cashless society—but magnetic stripes didn't always rule the day. Here's how credit cards have evolved.

Who Keeps the Metric System Down? We Do

The metric system may be popular nearly everywhere else in the world, but it's failed to win over the Americans. Here's why.

In Front Of The Music

Lists of the worst album covers ever have been around forever, but often it's the images that spread—not the stories behind the albums. Let's fix that.
May 2015

Livin' on the Edge

People will always push the edges of creativity when they can—that's why we have Marilyn Manson. Today's issue analyzes art and decency.

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

The traditional song "Happy Birthday" is definitive proof that just because a song is traditional doesn't mean it isn't copyrighted.

The Invention Of News

The field of public relations is still built on a single foundational tool—the press release. Why do we still use them? Well, for the companies, they work.

This One's For The Wounded

We haven't had Band-Aids forever—only for the last century or so. So what did we use for bandages before then? Well …

Diaspora: Not Just A Forgotten Social Network

When a culture permanently shifts to a new home, a diaspora spreads—and sometimes it creates a fascinating cultural pocket of its own.

We're Literally Navel-Gazing

A good sign that you're a human is the existence of a belly button. Everyone has one, and everyone participates in acts of navel gazing sometimes.

Ted Turner's Satellite Of Love

These days, Ted Turner's media mogul status is just a footnote, but when he turned TBS into a superstation in the '70s, he remade television forever.

1.) Learn About Lists 2.) See Item 1

Lists are one of the most important writing tools we have, and we love using them frequently. Here's where they came from, and why they work so well.

House Of Product Cards

We see product placement in TV shows and movies so often these days that we don't even think about it. That's partly because it's been around forever.
April 2015

I Believe In Symmetry

Why are we attracted to things that have perfect symmetry, that match up on either side? It might have something to do with the way our brains are wired.

Searching For The Perfect Tones

Guitars, bass, piano, and drums aren't the only way to make a tune. Check out the story of these unusual musical instruments—and the folks who played them.

This Land Is My Land

Not everyone recognizes many micronations, but that hasn't stopped people from creating them and keeping them going. Just ask the fine folks of Sealand.

Tell It To The Judge

Since the dawn of television, court shows—whether actually based on real life or heavily dramatized—have become a cheap, sustainable viewing staple.

Walk on the Vinyl Side

Before Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Lou Reed became an rock icon, he cut his teeth on producing soundalike recordings. People are still making 'em today.

Forget Rand Paul, Let's Talk Paul Rand

Paul Rand, the graphic designer, has a Rand Paul problem: The headline-chewing politician is hiding the famed designer's legacy on Google. Here's why.

Don't Mess With The Michelin Man

How did a tire manufacturer create an essential restaurant guide? And what other unusual side businesses do brand-name companies have? We investigate.

I'm Older Than You'll Ever Be

Becoming the world's oldest person is an immensely tough job, but someone's got to do it. Meet the people who have managed to pull it off.

Take Me Out To The Riot

From "Disco Sucks" to a jilted city turning on its own team, baseball riots are among the most entertaining you'll find.
March 2015

An Unexpected Murder Ballad

There's a chance that the song you're hearing on the radio isn't saying what you think it is. Today, we dig into pop music's oddest contradictions.

Here’s A Bright Idea

The electric light bulb was one of the greatest inventions ever created, and lighting has only gotten better from there. Enlighten yourself.

You Can't Do That On The Internet

The early Nickelodeon show "You Can't Do That on Television" was built for kids, by kids. Trying to re-create it today would only end in tears.

The History of Internet Explorer Hatred

Microsoft's Internet Explorer was one of the earliest things that made tech users really freaking mad. It gave those users something to fight against.

You Probably Don't Understand Watches

If you dislike the Apple Watch, sorry to hear that. Now, let us show you some other watches you definitely can't afford.

Bootleg This Issue

Bootlegged movies and music are fairly common online these days, but it was a guy who worked at an opera who got things going.

Vulcan Creativity

The late Leonard Nimoy may have been shoehorned by fame a bit, but he never let that get in the way of his creativity. Nor should you.
February 2015

Despite All My Rage …

Why does it seem like everyone's always angry about everything? We're not sure, but hopefully we can figure it out with some psychology.

You're a Winner

We don't know when the Oscars are, but we bet you might learn something from this post about award show trivia.

Tales Of The Interwebs

Protecting internet history is an important task, so we've taken it upon ourselves to save some of the best stories.

Hay, Blinken!

Abraham Lincoln may be the greatest president ever … in terms of the crazy cultural crap he inspires.

Evolution, Televised

Weird television has a way of sucking you in, remaining appealing despite its oddity. Grown Folks Dancing is only the latest example of a longtime trend.

PC LOAD LETTER

Office supply stores are places that nobody feels nostalgic about. Everyone should hate them. Here’s why.

8-Bit Archaeology

Retro gaming is a culture that holds a soft spot for any kid born in the '70s or '80s. Here's a deep dive into the world of retro gaming enthusiasts.
January 2015

Quitting is OK

Blogger Andrew Sullivan's decision to quit daily blogging is the kind of decision that everyone else eventually makes when they quit stuff.

Brand bastardizations

Sometimes, companies do things that go against our expectations of their brand. Often, the result can be awful. Check out these examples of brand weirdness.

LOUD NOISES

If you like loud noises, you're probably crazy, but you might really like this blog post as a result.

State of the #SOTU

The State of the Union address wasn't always a big deal. You can credit (or blame) Woodrow Wilson and evolving technology for changing that.

Sodium Chloride? So Crazy.

Salt is an immensely valuable resource, though if you sign us up for a Salt of the Month club, we'll have to stop being friends.

Genealogy for Fanbois

If there's a cartoon or TV show you really love, it probably has a surprisingly deep family tree. Just ask Scrooge McDuck.

The Great Muppet Email

How Jim Henson's life's work became the longest overnight success story in history—and how the Muppets went international.

Meet The Internet's First Hater

Before it became cool to dislike things online, a guy named David Mirsky was snarking heavily on Mirsky's Worst of the Web.

Time To Drop The Ball.

Just in time for New Year's, here's the first issue of Tedium, the dull side of the internet.

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